Correspondencia, english version
by fantasmaalineal
Summary: A letter from Gin, for Kira. After Bleach 320 chap. "Beauty is so solitary". Yaoi.


_I make this letter - originally, in spanish- __ based on the following manga dialog;  
_

_-Kaname Tousen; What is it, Ichimaru?Are you worried? You abandoned him…  
- Ichimaru Gin; No. I am just glad. He's doing well…  
_

_I have always believed that Ichimaru Gin is a Zen Master, quite misunderstood. There's a lot of__ him containing that ideology ... without complying with the Buddhist ideal of compassion for others, urning him, inevitably, in the damned cynical and hopeless that is ... I still have ideas about the character, is my favorite evil one. I hope is quite well managed. Namasté and thanks for reading and reviews. Alinealghost._

Li´l Izuru oh my, okashi mine;

I cann´t tell yah I loved yah. Ther´s no somth´ng on me, able to love som'one. Yahr sweet body 'nd skin – ah, yar lovely skin, needed of my tongue 'nd teeth- pleased me ´nd keepi´n me warm in many sunris´s, jus´ like Rangiku did´t before.

I never –ever- want´d yar admiration 'nd, so less, that yah fell in love fer meh. Love

-like admiration- is much mor' uncontrollable than passion, as it only fer a moment 'nd the other, ask fer eternal answer. And meh, ku ku… 'm so unable to give yah a properly answer, jus' like Tousen canno' underst'nd the colours.

Love finish'd with Hinamori Momo, will kill Kuchiki Rukia 'nd Shinigami substitute 'nd end with Souls' Society whole, so'ner or later. It is not somethin' fer weak souls but… fer Kami-sama! I do not hav' that k'nd of strength or devotion or loyalty…. Suddenly, makes me laugh that this, precisely, was the emblem of Third Squad, loyalty… jajaja, is curious, 'cause my loyalty to what I believe 'nd the only person in whom I have som' faith, has been seen by others, as a betrayal; da yah might suspect as much evil in me?

Som'one been told me that I will suffer yar loss, but that's false, don´t believa, don´t hav' hope of any k'nd. It is true that I love-'nd miss- the sweet perfume of yar hair or the taste of yar saliva 'nd blood or yar soft moan ask'n fer more, when we had sex. It is true that neither Luppi nor any other arrancar- those Aizen san´s creations are unhealthy, I'll tell yah, skin ice withou' traces of passion, withou' blood in their veins; having sex with them is like masturbate with a corpse, a pleasure only fer a certain k'nd of pervys, 'nd, my li´l Izuru, I'm not get to far… - has succeeded replace yah but the past, doesnt exist 'nd yah, okashi mine, ya're in the past, ya' are a need'd loss 'nd "the loss is dirt mud, is where the beauty of lotus stems " 'nd yars, against all expectations, turns me in a better person… or that's what our Zen teachings, as Shinigamis say… or not?

Da yah know what's good not to wait? Yah loses tha fear of losing. If I would have loved yah, would have been fra'ile, on the verge of panic by missing yah, as were yah fer me, somethin' that made yah obey even against the same Souls' Society , against everything yah'd learned, against what yah loved 'nd against yar own friends.  
'nd fear, only serves when we unfounded, not when we suffer fer it…

Good 'nd bad are only qualifications fer things… 'cause yah know that there are no "good" or "bad". I'm not a bad ass, simply, I am what I am 'nd I'm not fer yah, in the same way that nobody is fer meh.  
I am not going with Aizen san fer his ideas, I go with him 'cause I do not lose anythin' 'nd it sounds interesting 'nd fun. I do not mind changes 'nd Aizen san does not intend to change everything, just want do what he wants, that´s all -what kind of idiot would kill the King of Heaven or go against fucking Kami in same? That kind of disobedience pleases me…

In addition, he's good to fuck, among other things…

I dont believa there someone in yahr life, which might succeed or erasing me; perhaps death? I've never sin of modesty, hence my shikai is "until death", ikkorose shinsso, I dont like goes with halftone 'nd think yah could die of love for me… is ridiculous, but I am sure that ya will be capable of this…

I tried to feel remorse for left yah behind me. Rather, I feel relief, I can not imagine the kind of cheesy burden yah would be, though, perhaps… might be interesting to have yah in the same bed, with Aizen… I do not know.

By the way, ´m not writing this letter 'cause what I wanted. Tousen 'nd their ideas of justice, 'nd what yah know, believes that yah deserve some sort of explanation. I do not think so; explain things is tantamount to tell yah were a piece of stupid that fell in love, stupidly, with the only person who consciously, could hurt yah. 'nd I do not think yah're stupid at that level, right? In any case, I repeat what yah were not loved 'nd not I love yah. There was nothing ours 'nd I do not care about yah; know that yahr friends 'nd will do so, 'nd I also know that yah will never be able to stop thinking about me, as well as Hinamori never lose the love she feels for Aizen

…what we are going to do!

There is nobody to take care of us, nor our ancestors -dant think more in yar parents- nor the gods -we are death gods!- 'nd only we make our fate. Yar love for me, stupid 'nd irrational will be yar karma; never give advice to anyone -it's not my style- but yah should leave it up…

In truth

_Sayonara_

P.D. I am good lyin', right? Do not cry, my li´l Izuru. Everythin' that I wrote above, is false…

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_How to know when Gin is lying and when not? If we read the letter upside down, considering that lies in what he writes,__ he is desperate for Kira and loves him ... and miss him so terribly. If Gin is telling the truth, Kira could start by cutting his veins. However, in short, Gin says what he said at first; Kira is better where it is, safe, loved and cared by his friends. Gin cannot give himself, so he gave what he could do; his own abandonment. If you came up here, I appreciate your infinite patience, and I wait your reviews, anxiously.  
Namasté.  
FantasmaAlineal._


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